尘醉

我们同辛劳的尘世一道流逝;

※007

我要再做她的学生。

※006

我妈在9/30给浦老师发了一条微信,大致是表达了感谢,略微说了下我的近况。没有回复的消息。我不打算猜为什么,在这方面我的猜测从来没有靠谱过。

以及我今天晚上做作业拿东西的时候,看到了以前浦老师批的一张答题纸。看到她的笔迹,我想我知道了。过去和现在是不同的,过去的只存在于当时当刻,现在的才存在于现在。回忆被染上色彩是必然的,只不过这次的涂料是依着我的喜好和对象的特点形成的以猩红色为主色的一些。
因此这一切完全没有必要。同时我止不住地想她。再同时,我是真的上听不进现在这个英语老师讲课。

※005

我绝对是被驯养了。
下次我可以试试换个方式开口,不过兴许挺难,因为第一句话都是我非常想说一直没能付诸于口的。以及这种说话风格是我看了几个小时的翻译成中文的欧美小说的后果。
我感到没法上别人教的英语课。想到同班就有在上她的课的好同学我就觉得十分奇妙。所有人都是很好的,只是我总想着她。今天早上收作业的时候,男生们搬了几个没人用的课桌在门外沿着教室的墙排成一排。全年级一共四个班,我在四班,现在她带两班。就二班和四班会在早自习前在教室外面放一溜课桌用来交作业。
一起回家的同学谈到六一节的活动和英语舞台的活动,于是我又想到她。想到她的同时还想到秋和L。我往她们每个人身上都同时或不同时倾注了很多情感,为她们每个人我都写过很多见得人的和见不得人的。我也梦到她们。秋梦到过起码几十次。实际上从秋开始我就很寂寞了。我的生命里很少有人出现,因此对于每一个我都如痴如狂。我现在仍想起她们每个人,秋、L和她。两年来我的生活基本由她们组成。秋、L、她。
今天上课走神的时候,我突然想到合适的词句形容我对她的情感。我爱她。不是同人里经常出现的那种意义上的爱,多半是基督所宣扬的那种爱。我心甘情愿听从她,即使在我还是她的学生的时候我也很少因为她的可能过于严厉的方式腹诽。现在也是。我竟然怀念束缚。这种情感比曾经对L和秋产生过的更加正面。
今天有升旗仪式。我想到别的一些事情。我记得最后那次升旗仪式的时候半个班都去排练了,几乎所有的好同学都出场了,其他一些也有道具组之类的任务。我的所有朋友都去排练了,我是少数被留在班级里的人之一。我感到被排除在外了。我痛苦得要死——我的意思是,所有的班级活动都是她热情洋溢地组织的。但我就感觉被遗忘了。
我其实非常想参与各类活动,但除非我自己努力争取,再借助一点外力,从来都会被排除在外。大概我看上去太内向了而且真的非常不主动。我以前有时候会黑暗地想,我被放在班级里,除了为班级在年级里争名次毫无作用。现在我不这么想了。因为那种忠诚只属于我原来的班级。而且我知道还有别的原因。
今天语文老师随手让几个人(包括我)改其他同学的默写。我想到在过去,她一直让包括我在内的几个女同学批改所有人的默写和练习卷(我们的默写和练习卷实在是太多了)。但一开始我是不在那些改卷子的女孩们里面的。我很想改,但没有。有一次缺人手还是什么,我正巧在教室里,从此我也就开始改别人的默写和练习卷了。
我们上课是一个老师带两个班。改练习卷的时候我通常都被分到隔壁班的那一叠而非自己班的。我总觉得这是不那么信任的表现,但这个想法没道理。后来有一次,在英语拓展的选修课上,大家看电影,她叫我去改练习卷,我改的是本班的一叠,我几乎痛哭流涕。
我很好奇她对我的看法。我后来想想,无论如何她都是一位老师对着许多学生,即使她带了我们班三年带了我两年而不是只带一年的毕业班(哈,现在她就是继续在带毕业班了),我也只是她带过的很多学生之一。总而言之无论她对我怎么看都绝对不可能像我对她抱有那样深的情感。所以这个问题就变得无意义了。
讨论到这里,听上去这种“爱”仿佛要变质。不过我也不关心这个了。我不想从她那儿离开。
我之所以说听上去这爱仿佛要变质就是因为,接下来我要说的,也是我内心真实想说的,但听上去很恐怖,就是:
无论她怎么样或者她对我怎么看,都不会影响我对她的这一腔海底活火山口的海水似的情感。
唉,我只能确定我并不像信神一样崇拜她,也不是以青春期少女的思路去迷恋她。至于我那情感具体叫什么,大概它就在这个崇拜和迷恋之间的区域飘着吧。没准她的形象就是我梦寐以求的那种具有对比性极具魅力的原始和柔情的融合。不管怎么说,她的有点瘆人的甜甜的笑是真的让我感动得想掉眼泪。

♝人偶师和她的木偶

祂看到日船航过天空,物质明朗,于是欣喜,开口道:“很好。”
世上的人们听了,也认为“很好”,并拍起手、跺起脚来,跳舞庆祝。
地上人们的声响传入祂的圣听,穿破了祂的鼓膜,祂受了伤害,就愤怒起来,降下疫病使人们不得挪动肢体。
从此人们不再舞蹈,除非祂亲自移动他们的手脚。

“我看不是这样。”他道,“你瞧,我就并非如此。”

“吟游诗人的歌谣里是这样说的。”她答复,惊奇地看着这造物。她没有打算赋予它——他生命,生命却自个溜进木偶的躯壳。他还被束缚在支撑架里,想要走路,却只能以古怪标准的尸僵般的步伐走动。她给他松开束缚,把那些与之前摘下的口枷归到一处。

“多谢。”他道。

她瞧见木偶好奇地在工作台上走来走去,碰碰这块木头、戳戳那个木偶。她心疼木偶尚未被完全琢磨的弟妹,从双肩处拎起木偶,不顾木偶嘶哑的声声抗议,把他置于放杂物的桌几上,同茶点一道。木偶走到手掌大小的骨瓷茶杯边,探了探脑袋嗅闻茶香,抚摸杯耳,绕着竹篾编成的点心盘转悠了一圈,又站定,两眼盯着工作台不放。

她不作声,看他要干什么。

木偶一动不动。他好奇地打量工作台上的砂纸、大头针、木料和布匹。壁架上有个黑檀木制的木偶冷冷地看他,坚如磐石的双唇蠕动。

“他是我的兄长罢?”木偶转过脸来问她。

她心中讶然,惊异于木偶不同于他的兄姊那般懵懂无知,旋即又想道:既然木偶无需法术加持,就已能聚集体内灵气苏醒,那末他聪慧过人,也是有迹可循的事。

她将木偶获生称之为“苏醒”。在她的概念里,在木头中的生命被唤起前,木偶不过是一具皮囊,魂魄全无,就如圣子再次降临尘世前,魂灵都身处地狱、炼狱或天堂,墓穴里独留尸骨。树木的精魂因她的砍伐飘走,相当于死亡,她用木料雕刻出一副新的形体,即为复生。生之前都是死的,死的和睡的归在一处,都在天国面圣。

“你原本是要复活我吗?”他突然开口问。他侧着头看了看工作台上翻飞的纸页,和深深刻进那张紫檀桌纹理的符咒纹路。

她又惊又喜,背着手,小心翼翼地捏着绢扇,黄檀木的扇骨在手心里翻转,低哑的檀香散了出来。她见他深吸一口气:“很好闻。这同你工作台上的木料,是同一类么?”

好灵的鼻子,好灵的脑子。她拿出造物主的气势,摆出一副学究教导书生的模样来:“工作台上的那些,是边角料罢了,树心的木材全用在了你身上。”想到些什么,她的眉眼柔软下来,眼波流转,以扇掩面道:“那些个料子我做坏了。本想拿来改装个新玩意儿,却不想做坏了。”

架子上,黑檀木木偶轻哼一声。

他看着她:“那末,我也做坏了么?”

她心里直敲小鼓,造物未经施法就苏醒,确不在她的设想内。可一见他这番可亲可爱的挑衅,她又忍不下心去否定他的降生,也只好硬着头皮道:“还未可知。”

他点点头,一副了然于胸的模样。他身高不过十几寸,大小比例模样都是她仿着自己做的,倘若遮住口鼻,看得出上半脸同她的别无二致。她作为人偶师的时间比常人的几世更久,有了那么多性格迥异的造物,却寻不着一个能跟自己谈上话的,仍是孤单。她依稀记得师傅教导过自己,万万不可造个同自己一样的人物出来,可她自信不会迷失在迷津里,就造了他来陪。谁料天地灵气都汇集在他身上,他不止是个木偶,更是能同她对话了。思及此处,她便看着他笑。

黑檀木木偶忍不住,走开了,径直跑下壁架,穿过地面的狭小空间,足尖点地,留下点点金光,飞蹦到杂物桌上,狠狠挤了木偶一下,赌气般抄起桌边的小巧茶杯痛饮。饮毕,还颇为不满地剜了木偶一眼。木偶也不甘居人下,捧着她给自己留的茶碗一饮而尽。黑檀木木偶倒坐在他身旁坐下了,大吃冰糕和糯米团子。

木偶看看身边被抢走的茶杯,看看桌子里另一头的茶壶,又看看大口往嘴里塞食物的黑檀木木偶,眼中晦暗不明。他仰起小脸,抿住唇,嘴角往下瞥,委屈地望着她。

她不忍他受饥受气,想着他怕是吃不进寻常糕点,便随手刺破自己雪莲花瓣似的肌肤。从伤口中流下奶和蜜,他双手抱住她的手指,南瓜木贪婪地吮吸。

她的肤色愈发苍白,他的袍泽则愈发澄黄。

※004

我做了一个梦。
我不记得梦的其他部分了(那些都不重要!)但这个梦里有第一批转走的很优秀我不是很熟的同学,还有教音乐(可实际上还是英语)的浦老师
啊我就想说,在梦里她穿一身浮夸程度堪比白女巫的黑皮草可真好看XXD袖子非常宽(宽得像中世纪那种类型),裙子两侧也垂得非常长,全部都是漆黑的皮草

※003

想了想还是放在lofter上,因为我猜想我可能以后也会继续就此主题碎碎念。而我之前已经两次为此码了比肝同人更多的字数,而放在lofter上至少我(大概)不会把它们删掉

经历了快哭出来以及对现实生活中的人和文章中的角色的关系的一堆碎碎念后,开始理智发言:我会这么这么一整天一整天地想到浦老师,也许和她做班主任的时候培养下来的从早上七点半直到下午四点半的习惯有关。假如我和上一届一起正常毕业我也还会怀念她的非常令人吐血的交作业策略和每天留到五点半的英语补习。我不习惯在学校而不按照她制定下来的规则生活
天哪我一直在关于浦老师的事情上试图找到合适的度。不是说会过度,并不会有过度的情感,但可能由于郁老师(天啊我的生活真像一本小说)的原因(但这绝非主要因素),和其他的许多原因,我会在心理上非常本能地在浦老师的羽翼下寻求到安全感,并且对她感到很能亲近。就像秋
呀,我挺不明白的。而且我就将要在记忆被时间淡化的情况下度过偶尔能碰见她的一整年,这个奇妙程度和合理程度堪比我在为fm蹲sd的路上碰见米flo
不同的是我这次带了那个标记

本来为了作文的一段贴上来,我想很多炽热的火玫瑰没法风干塞进作文本:
(尽管下文顶多是淡色的康乃馨)

当我不再能听见她的声音,她的斥责、敦促、鼓励、温暖的话语,黑板上也再看不到满满的令值日生发憷的字迹,做题不再从阅读版块做起,英语作业也像别的科目一样带回家完成。不再需要每天比别的班级提前一刻钟到校,也无需在吃完午饭后立即回到教室里。那是我想念她的时刻。也不会有别的班主任和她一样会说她把我们每一个都当作自己的孩子,照顾本班到了甚至可以说是偏袒的地步。没有英语老师像她一样能说出哪个词哪个例句在考纲第几页或者预测到考试的题目,又亦或是在学年伊始就能看到我们初中后的未来。而她的温暖的笑和高尚的品格,做事雷厉风行的风格,也让我觉得这是一位可遇不可求的好老师。

巴纳德女子学院好像是海史密斯的母校!

HistoricalPics:

1952年,纽约,巴纳德学院的女孩子在进行希腊运动会。摄影:Gjon Mili。
- 巴纳德学院是美国的一所私立女子文理学院,七姐妹学院之一。创建于1889年,1900年起并入哥伦比亚大学。
- 该校的希腊运动会首次举办于1903年并持续到1967年,希腊运动会起初目的是为了准确地重建希腊时期的体育比赛。一二年级的学生比赛包括舞蹈,原创诗歌和歌曲创作,掷铁饼,跨栏,滚铁环,火炬比赛和战车比赛等。
- 2011年,该校重新开展了这项运动比赛。

图片及资料来源:Wiki及巴纳德学院官网

阿尔达翻译总局中土支部搞事记录(史上最长)

原来是这一段xd
试图圆上逻辑未果,以及这次真的好长啊23333

Princess Sally:

原文



Then they drank once round and became mighty merry all of a sudden. But they did not quite lose their wits. "Save us, Galion!" cried some."you begin your feasting early and muddled your wits! You have stacked some full casks here instead of the empty ones,if there is anything in weight."


"Get on with the work!" growled the butler. "There Is nothing in the feeling of weight in an idle toss-pot's arms. These are the ones to go and no others. Do as I say !"


     "Very well, very well," they answered rolling the barrels to the opening. "On your head be it, if the king's full butter-- tubs and his best wine is. pushed into the river for the Lake-men to feast on for nothing!"He woke again with a specially loud sneeze. It was already grey morning, and there was a merry".racket down by the river.


They were making up a raft of barrels, and the raft-elves would soon be steering it off down the stream to Lake-town Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer dripping but he felt cold all over. He scrambled down as fast as his stiff legs would take him and managed just in time to get on to the mass of casks without being noticed in the general bustle. Luckily there was no sun at the time to cast an awkward shadow, and for a mercy he did not sneeze again for a good while.


     There was a mighty pushing of poles. The elves that were standing in the shallow water heaved and shoved.The barrels now all lashed together creaked and fretted.


     "This is a heavy load!"some grumbled. "They float too deep-Some of these are never empty. If they had comeashore in the daylight, we might have had a look inside," they said.


     "No time now!" cried the raftman. "Shove off!"


     And off they went at last, slowly at first, until they had passed the point of rock where other elves stood to fend them off with poles,and then quicker and quicker as hey caught the main stream and went sailing away down, down towards the Lake. 





第一棒 @Janet布丁 



 于是他们都喝了一轮,突然变得激动起来。但还没有到变成呆头的程度。“拜托,加里安!”有人大叫,“你早就开始你的节日了,现在已经快喝成呆头啦!你把满桶当空桶堆这里了,重死宝宝了。”
“乖,滚去干活啦。”总管叫到。“你们这些小懒虫手里啥都重的啦。就是这些不会错,听话。”
“好吧,好吧,”他们边回答边把木桶滚进开口。“如果国王的黄油和酒都被推到了河里,让那些河里的人有免费的美餐,到时候你就得被国王干掉了!”
他醒来的时候打了个巨大的喷嚏。已经是黎明,河边开始吵闹。精灵们把木桶整好,然后木筏精就把它们扔到河里,冲到长湖镇。比尔博又打了个喷嚏。他不再湿身,但他快冷死了。他用冻僵的小短腿尽可能快的奔跑,终于在一片混乱中混上了木筏,没有被发现。幸运的是,这时候太阳公公还没起床,所以他不会拥有一道尴尬的影子,上帝同情他,让他好一会儿不打喷嚏。
精灵们有的在用长篙撑着,有的推着想要让木筏离开岸边。站在浅水里的精灵又拉又拖。木桶现在都绑在一起,互相摩擦摩擦。
“这木筏真tm重啊!”有精抱怨到,“它们沉的太深了——有些肯定不是空的,或许有些奇怪的东西在里面,比如脏兮兮的矮人。如果白天漂来,我们或许还能看看里面有啥,”他们说。
“现在没时间了!”撑篙的叫到。“推!”
木筏终于漂离了,一开始慢慢地,直到它们来到那块大大的石头旁,那里的精用长竿把木筏推开,然后它进入了主航道,越来越快,漂向那遥远的长湖镇。





第二棒 @リンギル 



So they all had a round of drinks and suddenly became excited. But they hadn’t reached the point of being アホウ. "Come on, Galion!" Someone shouted, "you have already started your holiday, and now you are having too much! You piled up the full buckets here as if they were empty, they’re really too 太った."
“Behave yourself and go to work." The manager calls. “Everything’s too heavy for you little slackers. That’s it, nothing wrong. Be good.”
"All right, all right," they pushed the barrel into the opening while answering. "If the King's butter and wine are pushed into the river, letting those people in the river have a free meal, then you’ll be fucked by the King!”
He woke up with a huge sneeze. It's dawn, and it started being noisy on the riverbank. The elves organized the barrel, and the spirits of raft threw them into the river and rushed to the Lake-town. Bilbo sneezed again. He was no longer wet, but was freezing. He ran as fast as he could with his frozen little legs, and finally got on the raft in chaos and without being spotted. Luckily, the sungonggong had not risen yet, so he wouldn’t have himself followed by an embarrassing shadow, and Eru PaPa sympathized with him so he didn’t sneeze for a while.
Some of the elves are holding up with long poles, and some are pushing to get the rafts off the shore. The elves standing in the shallow water dragged and dragged. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing against each other.
"This raft is really fucking heavy!" An elf complained, "they rides very low - some are definitely not empty, maybe there're something weird inside, dirty dwarfs maybe. If they come during the daytime, we may be able to see what's inside, "they said.
“We’re out of time now!" The poling one shouted. “Push!"
The raft finally drifted away, slowly at first, until they came alongside that big stone, where the semen pushed the raft off with a long pole. Then it entered the main channel, becoming faster and faster, drifting to the faraway Lake-town.





第三棒 @泽拉大魔王 



  于是他们每个人都喝了一杯,突然变得兴奋起来,但还完全没有飘飘然到失了智的地步。“来吧!加理安!”有人喊了起来,“你的假期已经拉开序幕了,你现在吃太多了,你把装满酒的桶堆在这儿,仿佛它们都是空的,它们真是太乱啦!”
        “规矩点,小伙子,快点去干活!”管事喊道,“对于你们这些懒家伙来说,啥玩意儿都是重的。对,就是这样,没毛病,好极了!”
        “行吧行吧。”他们一边推桶一边回答,“要是国王的黄油和美酒被推进河里,成为河中居民的免费午餐,那么你迟早会被国王按在地上摩擦!”
        他醒来时打了个大喷嚏。天光大亮,河岸上开始吵闹起来,精灵们把木桶堆在一起,用筏子把它们丢进河里,冰冷的河水把它们冲向河谷镇。比尔博又打了一个喷嚏,他不再是湿漉漉的,而感到十分寒冷。他用他几乎冻结的小腿没命地跑,尽可能地快。最后于一片混乱中趴在了筏子上,没被任何人发现。谢天谢地,太阳还没有上天,所以他身后不会跟着一个尴尬的影子。显而易见,一如爸爸很照顾他,所以接下来他没有接着打喷嚏。
        一些精灵撑着长长的杆子,另一些正推着筏子离开岸边。那些站在浅水里的精灵拖拽着。木桶现在被绑在一起,互相摩擦。
        “这只筏子可真他妈重!”一个精灵抱怨说,“它们压得很低——有些绝不是空的,也许里面有一些奇怪的东西,也许是肮脏的矮人。”“如果它们早上来的话,我们就能打开看看里头到底有嘛玩意儿。”他们说。
        “我们现在没时间了!”另一个喊道,“快推!”
        木筏终于慢慢地漂走了,直到他们来到那块巨石旁边,精灵们把一根长杆推到木筏上。然后,它进入主渠道,越来越快,漂流到遥远的河谷镇。





第四棒 @Alessar 



Thus, each of them has a cup and soon enough, becomes excited. Luckily, however, they are still awake, not heady and euphoric. ‘Come on, Galion!’ somebody shouts, ‘Here comes your holiday! You have eaten too much now and you leave all these buckets of wine here as if they are all empty—they are far too messy!’




  ‘Be obedient young boy, go back to work!’ the elf in command shouts back, ‘For lazy bones of your kind, everything is heavy. Ay, keep going, you’re doing fine!’




  ‘As you wish, sire.’ They mumble as they roll the buckets, ‘sf the sweet wine and fine butter of our king is thrown into the river and later becomes free lunch of the dwellers, you will get f**ked right here on the floor sooner or later!’




  He sneezes as he wakes up. The day has already shone. The river band is now clamorous—elves stack the buckets and throw them into the river on a raft icy water will then drift them to Lake Town. Bilbo sneezes again, he’ s not wet but freezing. He runs as fast as possible with his almost frozen legs and eventually grovels on the raft in the chaos without being seen. Thank Eru, the sun is not high above so there won’t be any embarrassing shadow that follows. Clear enough, Eru is truly in his favor, later Bilbo doesn’t sneeze.




  Some elves row the boat with long rod and others push it as it leaves the river bank. Buckets are now tied together, rubbing.




  ‘The raft is so dam heavy!’ one of the elves standing in shallow water who is dragging the raft complains, ‘It’s definitely not empty, see how deep the draught. Something must be inside, like ragged dwarves.’ ‘If it comes in the early morning, we may open up and see what’s inside.’ They say.




  ‘But now we are running out of time.’ Another yells, ‘Push! Now!’




  Finally the raft drifts away slowly. Until it gets close to a huge rock and elves push it with rod does the raft enter the main channel. It flows faster and faster to Lake Town far away.





第五棒 @Nierninwa 



 因此他们各自喝了一杯酒,很快就亢奋起来。然而他们依旧清醒,还没有醉得飘飘欲仙。“快点,加里安!”有人喊道,“你该开始干活了!你倒是吃饱了,却把这些酒桶像空桶似的晾在一边,乱糟糟的!”
“遵守命令,年轻人,回去工作!”负责指挥的精灵喊了回去,“你们这样的懒虫,做什么都觉得辛苦。好,继续,你们做的不错!”
“我们会的,大人。”他们边嘟哝边推动酒桶,“如果我们国王的美酒和上等黄油被扔进河里,成为居民们的免费美餐,你早晚都会在这里的地板上被狠狠地操!”
他醒时打了个喷嚏,已经是阳光闪耀的时候了。河岸边十分喧嚷—精灵们把桶堆起来装上木筏,冰冷的河水会把它们送到长湖镇。比尔博又打了个喷嚏,他没有沾湿,但觉得寒冷彻骨。他迈开冻僵的腿尽力奔跑,最后在混乱中爬上了一艘木筏而没被发现。感谢一如,太阳还没有升得那么高以至于使他投下鬼鬼祟祟的影子。而且他明显地受一如眷顾,过一会儿便不再打喷嚏了。
一些精灵用长杆划船,另一些把船推离了河岸。木桶已经被绑在一起,相互碰蹭着。
“这船太他妈沉了!”一个站在浅水中拖拽木筏的精灵抱怨道,“它肯定不是空的,看看这吃水多深。里面肯定有什么东西,比如惨兮兮的矮人。”“如果它们早晨早点到的话,我们就能打开看看里面是什么。”他们说道。
“但现在我们没时间了。”另一个喊道,“快,推!”
木筏最终缓缓漂走了。它接近一块巨石时,精灵用杆子把它推向了主河道。它向着远方的长湖镇,漂得越来越快。





第六棒@周云生



"We will, sir. " "If our king's wine and butter are thrown into the river to become the free food of the residents, you will be harshly fuck on the floor here sooner or later," they grunt. When he woke up, he sneezed, and it was time for the sun to shine. The river banks are very noisy. The elves heaped up the barrels and installed the rafts, and the icy river would send them to the town of Chang Hu. Bill had sneezed again. He was not wet, but he felt chilled to the bone. He ran away with his frozen legs, and finally climbed into a raft without confusion. Thank you, as the sun has not risen so high that he has cast a sneaky shadow. Moreover, he was obviously as well liked, and he would not sneeze for a while. Some elves rowed with long poles while others pushed the boat off the river bank. The buckets were tied together and rubbed with each other. "This ship is too damn!" A wizard who dragged a raft in shallow water complained, "it's definitely not empty. Let's see how deep the draft is. There must be something in it, such as a miserable dwarf. "If they arrive early in the morning, we can open up and see what's inside." They said. "But now we have no time." The other yelled, "fast, push!" The raft finally drifted away. When it approached a huge stone, the elf pushed it to the main river with a pole. It floats faster and farther towards the long lake town.





第七棒 甩莉



旁白:矮人们每个人都喝了精灵的琼浆,然后在欲火中涅槃,进入了极乐净土。就在他们在极乐净土狂欢的时候,精灵进来了。


精灵A(风情万种地微笑):来啊加里安先生!现在轮到您了!您一定是不能再满足了,但是酒杯还有剩吶!瞧瞧您,弄得这里一团糟。


指挥(皱眉大吼):听话年轻人!这个小姑娘坏得很,懒惰!


(指挥严肃地拍了拍手想要引起其他精灵的注意。)


加里安(不耐烦):啊~我们会好好干活的,先生!


(加里安醉醺醺地勾住指挥的脖子,却被指挥一把甩开。)


精灵A(小声BB):若是国王的美酒和黄油被丢进河里给那些渣滓当了免费午餐,您迟早会被国王按在地上摩擦的。


(指挥当然听见了精灵A的抱怨,他严肃地瞪了他一眼,指了指自己的耳朵表示自己听得见。)


比尔博(迷茫地睁开双眼):阿嚏——啊……怎么了?


(这个时候太阳已经升起来了,河岸传来了嘈杂的声响,仿佛有一群吟游诗人在那里开音乐趴)


比尔博(自言自语):哦!快看那些精灵!他们正在把那些木桶搬到小船上去!这冰冷的河水会将它们带到长福镇上去!快,比尔博!得趁他们不注意跟上去!


(尽管没有被河水弄湿,但是比尔博仍然觉得寒气透骨。精灵们仍然在一边打闹一边干活,丝毫没有注意到有一个小霍比特人溜进了船里。)


比尔博(捏了捏鼻子):赞美太阳!我不再打喷嚏了!


(这个时候精灵们开始拉着绳子将船拉上岸,他们把木桶绑在一起。)


加里安(生气):该死!这艘船真操蛋!我敢拿国王陛下的王冠打赌这桶绝对不是空的!猜猜看要是我们打开盖子会发现什么?


精灵A(大笑):一个惨兮兮的矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈


(精灵A凑过去,准备要打开酒桶的盖子。比尔博的心一下子提到了嗓子眼。)


指挥(严肃):现在已经来不及检查了!快!用力推!


(小船被推进了密林河的主河道,很快就顺着水流向着长福镇的方向漂去。)


比尔博(如释重负地拍胸口):妈耶,吓死我了!





第八棒 @希望变得勤奋的哲 



(Every dwarf drank the Elf’s wine and they were reborn in desire. Then they enter the GokuRakuJoudo. As they were entertaining themselves in Gokurakujoudo, the elves came.)


Elf A (smiling charmingly): Come! Master Galion! Now is your turn! You can’t be more satisfied, but there was some wine in the glass! Look at yourself! You are making a mess here.


Conductor (frowned and yelled): Obey the order, young man! This young little girl is badly behaved, and LAZY!!


(Conductor clapped his hands solemnly wanting to draw other elves’ attention)


Galion(annoyed): AHHHHHHHHHH! We will do our job perfectly, sir!


(The drunken Galion put his hands around the Conductor’s neck, but he was immediately thrown away)


Elf A(BB silently) If the King’s butter and wine are thrown into the river by mistake and are taken by those scums for free lunch, sooner or later, the King will sweep you with the floor.


(Obviously the conductor had heard the complaints of Elf A. He glared at Elf A, pointing his ear to say that he knew exactly what the Elf is talking.)


Bilbo(Open his eyes in confusion): AHhhhhh(sneeze)…whaaaaaaat is going on?


(At this time the sun had risen from the horizon. Noise came from the river bank as if there were a group of minstrels having a concert.)


Bilbo(Speak to himself) Oh! Look at those elves, they are carrying the barrels to the boats. Cold water will finally bring the barrels to the Happiness Town! Quick, Bilbo! Keep up with them before they notice you!


(Though not getting wet by the water, Bilbo still felt the bitter cold air everywhere. The elves were still playing while working, thus no one noticed that a Hobbit had successfully sneaked into their boat.)


Bilbo(squeezed his nose): Praise the sun! Finally I don’t sneeze anymore!


(Elves started to pull the boat from the water and tied the barrels together.)


Galion(Angry): Damn it! This boat is fu*king heavy! By the King’s crown, I dare to swear that it is definitely not empty! Guess what will we find if we open the barrel!


Elf A (Laugh): A silly, poor dwarf? Hhhhhhhhhh


(Elf A leaned near and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo’s heart had nearly jumped out of his chest.)


Conductor(Seriously): Now we don’t have time for checking! Be quick! Push hard!


(The boat was soon be pushed into the mainstream of Mirkwood river, quickly flowed towards Happiness Town.)


Bilbo( Put his hand over his chest with relief): That was fu*king scary!!!!!





第九棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 



 (矮人们都痛饮了精灵的美酒,在渴求中获得了新生,仿佛进入了极乐净土。而当他们在这虚幻的净土中享受欢愉时,精灵们到来了)
精灵A(迷人地微笑着):来啊加里安大人!现在轮到你啦,让我们快活啊!酒杯里还有酒,你肯定会炒——鸡满意哒!看看你,你正把这儿neng得一团糟呐。
管理员(皱着眉高呼):年轻人放规矩点!这小姑娘表现真差劲,而且还巨特么懒!
(管理员严肃地拍了拍手,以吸引其他精的注意力)
加里安(烦躁地):老大你知道我们有多努力嘛啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!
(喝醉了的加里安把自己挂在了管理员的脖子上,但他很快就被甩到一边儿去了)
精灵A(小声逼逼.jpg):如果大王的奶酪和酒被你们不小心丢河里被那群蛀虫白吃了的话,大王肯定会把你们扫(kai)地(chu)出(fen)门(ji)的哦。
(然而精灵A的小声逼逼还是被管理员听到了,管理员指了指耳朵,表示他并不聋完全听得到你们在逼逼什么)
比尔博(疑惑地睁大了眼睛):emmmmmmm他们到底在搞毛?
(就在此时,太阳从地平线上升起来了,河岸处穿来嘈杂的声音,宛如一打正在开嗓练声的二梅)
比尔博(自言自语):哎呀,看看这群精,他们正在往船上运酒桶呢!水流会把这些酒桶送到快乐镇的。快点比尔博,在这群小聋瞎发现你之前跟上去!
(尽管没被水打湿,比尔博也能感受到周围寒冷的空气,精灵们正边摸鱼边干活,没人注意到一个小霍比特人溜上了他们的船)
比尔博(捏了捏鼻子):赞美太阳!我终于不打喷嚏了!
(精灵们开始把船推入水中,并把酒桶系在了一起)
加里安(气鼓鼓):可真是见了蘑菇丝了,这船怎么沉成这*样了啊!我敢拿我们大王脑袋上的树杈子发誓这里面绝对不是空的!你说我们要是打开这些酒桶会发现啥?
精灵A(笑):一个傻兮兮的矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈——
(精灵A倾斜过身子,就要打开酒桶了,比尔博可怜的小心脏快跳出嗓子眼了)
管理员(严肃地):我们没时间检查了!痛快点用力气推!
(船很快就被推进了密林河的主流中,轻快地飘向快乐镇)
比尔博(放松,作以手抚心状):这也太他*的吓人了吧!!!!!









第十棒 @The Gray Dawn 



 (The dwarves all drank the elvish wine exultantly, and in their thirst they felt renewed as if they had entered Aman. But when they were enjoying themselves in this unreal land, the elves came.)

Elf A: (smiling charmingly) Come on, Lord Galion! Now it's your turn to cheer us up! There's still wine in the glass, and you'll surely be satisfied, as satisfied as fried chicken! Look at yourself. You're making a mess here.

Administrator: (shouting while frowning) Behave yourselves, elfins! What a poor little girl, and how TM lazy she is!

(The administrator clapped his hands seriously to draw the attention of the other elves.)

Galion: (impatiently) Big Brother, do you know how hard we worked??????!

(The drunk Galion hung himself around the administrator's neck, but he was soon pushed aside.)

Elf A: (BB in a low voice. JPG) If the King's cheeses and wine are accidentally thrown to the river and eaten by the group of moths for free, you will certainly be swept out like rubbish — and never be qualified to be his fans again.

(However, the quiet BB of Elf A was still heard by the administrator, who pointed to his ears to show that he was not deaf and could completely hear what they were BBing.)

Bilbo: (opening his eyes wide, feeling puzzled) Emmmmmmm, what fur are they doing in deed?

(这里一开始机翻是are they having sex?Σ( ° △ °|||)︴没想到你是这样的有道词典)

(然而我翻译到这里的时候控制不住自己地联想到了外号毛毛的芬威……)

(Just then, the sun rose above the horizon, and there was a noise from the bank, like a dozen Maglors practicing their voices.)

因为开了跨软件查词所以当我复制这个段落的时候有道词典自动翻译了它:

(就在这时,太阳升到地平线上,岸上传来一声巨响,好像有十几只蛆虫在练习它们的声音。)

……有道你究竟对二梅有什么误解_(:зゝ∠)_

Bilbo: (to himself) Oh, look at the elves, they're carrying barrels to the boat! The water will carry these barrels to Happy Town. Come on Bilbo, follow these deaf and blind crawfish before they know it!

(Even though he was not wet by the water, Bilbo could feel the cold air around. The elves were working while stroking the fish, and no one noticed a little hobbit slipping into their boat.)

Bilbo: (pinching his nose) Praise the sun! I finally stopped sneezing!

(The elves began to push the boat into the water and tie the barrels together.)

Galion: (in a huff) What the Morgoth, how did this boat become so *** heavy? I can swear by the branches on our King's head that these are not empty! What do you think we'll find if we open these barrels?

Elf A: (laughing) A silly dwarf? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ~

(Elf A leaned over and was about to open the barrel. Bilbo's poor little heart was about to jump out of his throat.)

Administrator: (seriously) We don't have time to check! Give it a good shove!

(The boat was soon pushed into the main stream of Mirkwood River, drifting briskly toward Happy Town.)

Bilbo: (placed a hand on his heart in relief) That's too f[harmony]ing scary!!!!



吐槽太可爱了于是就一起放上来了




第十一棒 @welleran 



(矮人们全都满怀欣喜地喝下精灵的酒,他们在畅饮中感到重焕新生,仿佛他们已经踏入神国。但是正当他们在迷幻之境中尽享欢乐时,精灵们来了。)


精灵A:(露出迷人的微笑)来啊,加里安大人!现在轮到你来为我们助兴了!杯子里还有酒呢,你一定会特别嗨,扔进油锅里的鸡都不会比你更嗨!看看你自己!你正在把这儿搞得一团糟。


管理员:(皱着眉喊叫)注意言行,小妖精们!她可真是个我见犹怜的小丫头,而且她也太特么懒了!


(管理员严肃地拍着手试图吸引其他精灵的注意)


加里安:(不耐烦地)大兄弟,你造不造,我们都累成狗了?!


(醉熏熏的加里安把自己挂在管理员的脖子上,但是他很快被推到一边)


精灵A:(小声BB.JPG)如果大王的奶酪和酒被不小心扔进了河里,被一群无赖白白吃了,你准会像垃圾一样被扫地出门——而且永远别再想当他的粉丝。


(然而,精灵A 悄没声儿的BB还是被管理员听见了,他指着自己的耳朵以示他不聋,完全能听清他们正在BB什么)


比尔伯:(张大眼睛,倍感困惑)呃——,他们到底搞毛啊?


(就在刚刚,太阳跃上地平线,岸上传来一阵闹声,就像一打梅格洛尔正在练嗓。)


比尔博:(自言自语)喔,看看那些精灵,他们正在把酒桶装上船!水流会把这些桶送到欢乐谷。上吧比尔博,在他们发现之前,跟上这伙又聋又瞎的克氏原螯虾!


(即便他一点水也没沾,比尔博却能感受到环绕身边的冷空气。精灵们一边工作一边安抚鱼群,没人注意到一只小小的霍比特人溜进了他们的船舱。)


比尔博:(挖鼻孔)礼赞太阳神!我可算是不打喷嚏了!


(精灵们开始将船推进水里,并将木桶紧紧绑在一起。)


加里安:(怒气冲冲)看在蘑菇丝的份儿上,这该死的船咋会变得这么沉?我以我们大王头上的树杈子发誓,这些桶不可能是空的!你猜我们把这些桶打开会发现什么?


精灵A(笑出声):一个傻冒矮人?哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~


(精灵A靠过去准备打开木桶。比尔博那可怜的小心心都快从喉咙里蹦出来了。)


管理员:(一本正经)我们哪还有时间检查!快点儿把它推上来!


(船很快被推进了黑林之河的主流中,轻快地航向欢乐谷。)


比尔博:(以手抚心,松了口气)这太他妈刺激了!!!







第十二棒 @Riverrun 



The dwarves they drank all of the wine from the elves with joy, and felt themselves almost reborned from the honey-like liquid. As their mind wandered to the fairyland, the woodelves came. 
An elf yelled: 'Master Galion, come on! It's your turn now. Join us, and let us havefun! 'His cheeks blushed for alcohol. 
The sheriff looked a bit mad, 'Watch your words, pixie! You guys are passionate, but too lazy. 'He clapped his hands to draw others' attention. 
'Did you know that this dumbass job has already wiped us out? 'With this Galion stood up and put his arm around the sheriff's waist, and grinned. Although he was pushed aside.
The other elf whispered, 'if our king knows that his cheese and vintages were tossed in the stream, eaten by a bunch of jerks, we will be in great trouble...and we will never be able to praise him! 'Yet the sheriff heard him, he pointed his ear to mention the elf his audition was still exellent. 
Bilbo kept his eyes wide open, 'What the hell are they doing? 'The sun just rose, from the shore came a burst of noises, almost as loud as Maedhros roaring to his six younger brothers. 
Bilbo whispered to himself, 'O, look at those elves, they are loading these barrels to the rafts. The stream will take them to the fairyland! Go, Bilbo, go! Keep up with these deaf Brains of Cthulhu! 'He could feel the chiling air, even that he did not actually get into the river. The elves were trying to appease the fishes, no one noticed the hobbit who sneaked into their cabin. 
He thought to himself, 'Praise to Azura! I no longer have to be irritated by sneezes! '
The elves pushed the tied rafts away from the shore. 
Galion yelled: 'In the name of Morgoth, how comes these foolish rafts be so heavy? I swear to my king's crown, these barrels can't be empty. I say we open them and see what's inside. '







第十三棒 @Anorcuron



矮人们愉快地喝光了精灵酿的酒,觉得自己好似从这蜜一般的液体中重生了。他们正飘飘然时,木精灵们来了。


一个精灵高叫道:“加里安大人,来吧!轮到你啦!和我们一起找点乐♂子♂吧!”他的脸颊因酒精而泛红。


长官看起来有点生气,“注意点你的言辞,小鬼头!你们这些家伙感情是很热烈,可是太懒啦。”他拍了拍手,好把其他精的注意力吸引过来。


“你知道这蠢工作已经快搞(giǎo)死我们了吗?”说着,加里安咧嘴笑了,他站起来,把胳臂环上长官的腰——尽管他被推开了。


另一个精灵低语道:“我们的王要是知道了他的奶酪和佳酿被扔在水里,叫一堆怪家伙消灭,我们可就有大麻烦了…我们就再也没机会歌颂他了!”可是长官听见了他说的话,指了指自己的耳朵提醒那精灵自己的听力依旧敏锐。


比尔博努力把眼睛睁大,“他们在搞什么鬼?”太阳刚升起来,岸边传来一阵喧闹,简直就和梅斯罗斯向他六个弟弟咆哮时的声音一样。


比尔博自言自语道:“哦,看,那些精灵正把桶子装上木筏。水流将把它们带到精灵的乐园!去吧,比尔博,去吧!跟着那些聋了的克苏鲁之脑!”虽然他没有真的到河里去,他仍能感觉到那冷风。精灵们正努力安抚被惊扰的鱼儿们,没人注意到溜进船舱的霍比特人。


他想,“感谢阿祖拉!我再不用被喷嚏烦扰了!”


精灵们把捆好的筏子推离河岸。


加里安叫道:“魔苟斯呀,这些笨筏子咋能这么沉?向王的冠冕发誓,咱们还是打开瞅瞅里头是啥吧。”







第十四棒 @猴子请来的逗比 



The dwarves drank all the elf's beer happily,and thought that they came from those honey liquor.

One of the evles said:"Monsignor Callian,come on!It is your round!Let's playus die?"Then Callian smiled,and standed off,put his arm on the Commander's waist---though he was refused.

The other one said in a low voice:"If our king know that his chess and beer was thrown into the water,and let some uncanny things to make it disappear,we will go in to trouble...We won't have chance to eulogize him any more!"But when the Commander heared what he had said,and then shook his ears as if he was a radar to warn that his ears still can use.

Bilbo was astonished ,"WTF?What are they doing?"The sun rose just now,and some noise was made from the bands,as loud as his screech.

He told to himself:"Oh,look,those evles were putting some barrels on the raft.Rivers will bring them to evles' paradies.Go there,Bilbo,go!Go with these little bourgeoisie!"Although he didn't jump into the river,he still flet cold wind.The evles were trying to make fish clamed down,and no one pay a attention to this hobbit who ran into cabin.

He thought,"Thanks for Saint-Stalin!I'm free from sneezing any more!"

The elves pushed the raft away from band.Gallian said,"Oh,boys!Why this raft is so heavy?I make a flag,we'd better to open and check it."





第十五棒 @Elenar 



 矮人们开开心心地喝完了精灵的啤酒,还以为它们和那些蜂蜜酒一样。

一个精灵说:“来,加理安阁下!到你了!我们一起来玩吧!”他的脸因酒精而绯红。

指挥官看上去有些生气:“注意你的言辞,傲慢的傻子!你的心热情似火,但你太懒了!”他拍拍手,试图引起其他人的注意。

“搞得好像这份蠢工作能让我们死掉似的。”加理安笑着,把手环在指挥官腰间,尽管对方是拒绝的。

另一个人低声说:“如果王知道他的棋子和酒被扔进水里,并且被某些神秘物种搞消失了的话,我们就完蛋了……我们甚至都不会再有机会歌颂他了!”指挥官听见了他的话,像个雷达似的抖了抖他的耳朵,以此来提醒这个人他的耳朵还好使。

比尔博一脸懵逼:“神特么??他们在搞什么?”太阳刚刚升起,那帮人发出的声音和他的尖叫声一样大。

他对自己说:“看吧,这些精灵正在把桶放上船,河水会把它们带到精灵的打油诗中。跟着去吧,比尔博!和那些有钱人一起去!”尽管他没跳进河里,他还是感到冷风飕飕的吹。精灵们正忙着安顿鱼群,没人注意到有个小霍比特跑进了船舱。

他想着:“感谢斯大林!我现在再也不会打喷嚏了。”

精灵们把船从人群边推开。加理安说道:“啊哦,老哥!这船怎么这么重啊?我立个flag,我们得打开船舱再查一下。”






第十六棒 @杨不找(Élast) 



The dwarfs drank elves beer happily, just thought they were like those honey wine.

An elf said,"Come on, Galion Your Excellency! It's your turn! Let's vangame together!"His face were like monkey's buttocks because of alcohol.

The commander looked like a little angry,"Pay attention to your manner of speaking, arrogant fool! Your heart is hot like fire, but you are too lazy!" He clapped his hands, trying catching others' attention.

“Just like this stupid job will make us lose our lives.”Galion smiled, then put a bracelet on the commander's waist, though he was resisted.

Other elf murmured,"If our king knows that his chess and wine were thrown into water, and disappeared because of some mysterious mcreatures, we are not far from dying…We'll even lose the chance to extol him!" The commander heard his words, shaking his ears like radar, to prove that his audition was still good.

Bilbo was stunned," What the hell! What are they fucking doing!" The sun had just risen, the crowd made as loud a noise as his screams.

He spoke to himself," Don't believe me just watch, elves are loading barrels onto the ship, and rivers will take them into the doggerels of elves'. Follow them up, Bilbo! Go with those tuhao!" Although he didn't dive into the river, he felt the cold wind blowing as well. Elves were busy finding a place for fishes, thus no one noticed that a little hobbit ran into the cabin.

He thought,"Thanks to Stalin! Now I'll never kerchoo any more!"

The elves pushed the ship away from the crowd. "Oops, bro," said Galion. "Why is this ship so heavy? I'll set up a flag, and we have to open the cabin and look it up again. "







第十七棒 @仲夏之雪 



矮人兴高采烈地喝着精灵的酒,因为它们喝上去就像蜂蜜甜酒一样。一个精灵说:“来啊,我的陛下,该你了!我们一起玩咳咳咳(此处省略)游戏吧!”他的脸因酒精而像阿纳一样红。




指挥官有点愠怒,“注意你的言辞,傲慢如图林的傻瓜!你的心像奥阔泷迪的火一样热,但你就和维拉们一样懒(预备进小黑屋了)!”他又叫又跳又鼓掌,试图引起注意。




“正是这种愚蠢的工作会使我们丧命。”加利恩微笑着,递给指挥官一个嵌着珠宝的手镯,尽管他被拒绝了。




另一个精灵咂咂嘴,喃喃自语“如果我们尊贵的国王知道他心爱的棋和酒被扔进了水里,并因一些未知生物而消失……我们离曼督斯也不远了,还会失去赞美我们国王的机会!啊!!!我们国王真好看!!!”指挥官听到了这些话,像隔壁片场的多比一样摇着头,试图证明着他的耳朵没坏。




比尔博惊呆了“一如啊!他们在干什么像魔苟斯一样的坏事啊!”此时阿纳初升,人群的喧嚷声压过了他的喊叫。




他自言自语:“不要相信我刚才看见的,精灵把桶扔进河里,跟着他们!跟着这些土豪(?)!虽然他没有跳河,但他仍在寒风中瑟瑟发抖。精灵们忙于寻找有鱼的地方,以致于没看见一个霍比特人跑进了小屋。




他想“:感谢国家感谢党!现在我再也不想来一遍了!”




精灵们把船推出人群。“啊,兄弟,”加利恩说,这船为什么这么重?我要开舱门再看一遍。”







第十八棒 @Rilelen 



The dwarves drank wine from the elves because it drank like honey and sweet wine. An elf said, “Come on, your majesty, it's your turn! Let's play some interesting (we all know what they are)games.” His face was as red as Anar because of alcohol.
The commander was a little angry.“Pay attention to your words, arrogant as Turin's fool! Your heart is as hot as the fire of Alqualondë, but you are as lazy as Valar(ready to enter Mandos)!" He jumped and applauded, trying to attract attention.
"It is this foolish work that will kill us." Gallion smiled and handed the commander a jewelry bracelet, though he was turned down.
Another elf smacking his mouth and murmur, "If our noble king knows that his beloved chess and wine are thrown into the water and disappear with some unknown creatures... We are not far away from Mandos, and we will lose the opportunity to praise our king. Ah!!! Our king is so pretty that nearly everybody falls in love with him!!! " The commander heard these words and shook his head like Dobby in the next scene, trying to prove that his ears were not bad.
Bilbo was stunned. “Eru Ilúvatar!Why they behave like Morgoth? " At this time Anar rose, and the crowd clamored over his cries.
He said to himself, “don't believe what I saw just now. The elves threw the bucket into the river and followed them. Follow these tyrants (?)! "Though he did not jump the river, he still shivered in the cold wind. The elves were busy looking for fish, so that no one could see a hobbit running into the hut. 
He thought, "thanks to the national and the party!  " Now I don't want to come again! " 
The elves pushed the boat out of the crowd. "Ah, brother," Gallion said, "Why is the boat so heavy? I'll open the hatch and see it again. "





第十九棒@咱们诺多精绝不认输





矮人和精灵一起坐那里喝葡萄酒,因为它美味地仿佛是在喝着蜂蜜和甜酒。一个精灵说:“来来来,陛下,轮到你了!”让我们玩一些给里给气的游戏(我们都知道它们是什么)。


指挥官有点生气。“注意你的言辞,傲慢的都灵蠢货!你的心和阿尔卡朗德的火焰一样炽热,但你和维拉一样懒惰(准备进入曼都斯!)他猛地跳起来鼓掌,试图引起大家的注意。


“这些蠢到极致的工作会搞死我们的。”加里安微笑着递给指挥官一个缀满珠宝的手镯,虽然他碰了个软钉子。


另一个精灵咂咂嘴说:“如果我们高贵的国王知道他心爱的黄油和葡萄酒被扔进河里,消失在一些未开化的动物身上……我们就会在曼督斯附近徘徊,我们的口舌将失去赞美国王的机会。啊!!!!我们的国王的容颜如此精致,真是太太太漂亮了,我们几乎每个人都爱上了他!!指挥官听到了这些话,在下一秒立刻像多比一样摇了摇头,试图证明他的耳朵没有出毛病。


比尔博惊呆了。“我勒个妈耶!他们为什么表现得像摩戈?”这时,阿纳尔站起身来,人群大声叫嚷着。


他自言自语地说,“不要相信我刚才看到的。精灵们把木桶扔进河里,跟着他们。跟随这些暴君(?)“虽然他没有跳过冰河,他仍然在寒风中颤抖。精灵们在忙着找鱼,所以没人能看到一个霍比特人跑进小屋。


他想:“感谢国家和伟大的党!“不过现在我可不想再来一回了!”


精灵们把小船从人群中挤了出来。“啊,兄弟,”加里安说,“为什么船这么重?”我要打开舱门再看一遍。”





第二十棒 @工二一 



Of Elves and Dwarves.

They sit and sip the serum sweet, 
For it beats the best beer brew breed. 

Then says an elf, 
“Come, my liege, thy turn forth came.
For we shall play some jolly golly gay game.”

There mads and claps a lord,
“Mind, fool of a Doorin, thy word. 
For thy heart heats like the hot Hokkaido,
Yet void like the Valar in Valinor. 
PREPARE TO ENTER THE HALLS OF MANDOS! ”

Then Galion chuckles and tackles with a wristlet crystal,
“These lame work will lay waste to us.” 

Another elf chews his food, 
“If our king mighty knew that his light butter and high wine got casted into the bright river, it would be such a blight that we would be on a flight to Mandos nigh.

Nought shall the glory we brought to our lord. He is sooooooooo pretty that we love him!! Yeah!! All hail the king!! We love him!!! Yeah yeah yeah!!! 

The commander (where did he come from?) listens and shakes his head like Adobe (dou bi), trying to hear if this has been edited by Premiere or After Effect. 

Bilbo is aghast, 
“I choked a mother yeah! Why are they acting like Mushrooms?”

Then, Anar the sun goddess stood up, and the world darkens. 
“Cannot believe what I just saw. Elves tossing barrows into the river. Follow them. Follow these crazy nuts. Though he decided to leap over the tarn, he still shivered.” 

The elves were busy looking for fish, sharks, whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, Chondrichthyes, and Osteichthyes. So no one went into the Hobbito sapien’s home. And he yells, “Praise the Party and thank the Valar!” But I don’t want to see that again. 

The elves, again, squeeze the human out of the boat, if there are any. “Ah bro, why is this so heavy? I’m going to look into the cabin again.” Says Galion. 





第二十一棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 



 是精灵和矮人的。
            他们围做在一起,小口呡着加糖血清,为了它有规律的敲击最好的啤酒,图谋繁殖。然后,一个精灵说:“来吧,我受臣服的领主。第四次轮到你来玩一些令人愉悦,惊叹的同性恋游戏了。”
             那里有一个疯子和拍手的领主:“理智,一个门里的愚人,你的世界。”因为你的心脏发热,像加热的北海道啤酒。然而,声音像是在维林诺的维拉「准备去曼督斯的殿堂吧!」
            然后加里安痴痴笑着,用一个水晶手镯工具说∶“这个古董会对我们说垃圾谎话。”
              另外一个精灵思考着他的食物∶如果我们的王大概知道了他的轻黄油和高度红酒被扔到了河流,我们做飞机去曼督斯的前程就会十分明朗。
             没什么,我们已经把所有荣耀带给了我们的主。他是如此这般这等这样的极其美丽,我们因此而为他着迷。噫!好!所有人都欢迎那王!我们爱他啊!妙啊!真妙,妙极了!
           那位高级骑士(从哪冒出来的?)听到赞美,并且使劲摇头,就像一个家养小精灵那样。是着听出这是被哪个女主角校订过的,还是在努力影响下产生的。
                 比尔博表示反对∶“我煞了个妈耶,为什么他们表现的像一群蘑菇。”
                然后,太阳女神阿诺尔站了起来,世界变黑了。“简直不敢相信我刚刚看到了什么。精灵们把阉猪扔进河里。跟着他们,跟着这些疯狂的混蛋,即使他决定飞跃山中小湖,他仍在颤抖。”
                 那些精灵忙着找鱼,鲨鱼,杀手鲸,鳗鱼,海蜇,蝠鲼,鳐鱼,海豚,各种软骨鱼,硬骨鱼所以,没有人进入了霍比特人贤明的家。然后他大叫道∶“赞美我们伟大的中国人民共产党,感谢维拉!但我再也不想看到那个了!”
              精灵们再一次像榨果汁一样把人类挤出船,不剩任何东西。“啊,兄弟,为什么这个如此沉。我要再看看这个小黑屋里有什么。”加里安说。





第二十二棒 @佛罗伦萨的俯瞰者 





These are the elves and drawfs.


They surrounded there, sipping serum withsuger, beating their best beer regularly and seeking to breed. Then one of theelves said, ”Come, my obedient lord, the fourth turn is yours to play somepleasant, amazing gay games.”


There was a maniac lord clapping his hands.“Oh my sanity! A fool in the door, your world. For your heart gets warm likeheated Hokkaido beer, while your voice sounds like a Valar in Valinorexclaiming: Prepare for your trip to Námo’s halls! 


Then with a crystal bracelet tool, Galliangiggled, “This curios speaks nothing but lies and nonsense.” Another elfpondering over his dinner, “ If our king knew that his light butter andhigh-alcohol wine were thrown into the rive, we shall have a brighter flight toMandos!” 


Nothing, we’ve brought all the glory to ourlord. He is such brilliantly such stunningly beautiful, making everyone of usinfatuated. Oh! Marvellous! Everyone welcomes our king! Everyone loves him so!Wonderful! Excellent! Extraordinary! 


Hearing these praise, the high knight shookhis head hard like a domestic little elf. This was edited by a heroine oreffected by hard efforts.


Bilbo objected, “Oh my! Why are they actinglike a group of mushroom!”


Then the whole world darkened as thesun-goddess Anor rose to stand. “Can’t believe what I have seen. The elves arethrowing bacon into river. Following them——these crazy bastards, they are stilltrembling even when they have decided to leap over the small lake in themountains.”


These elves were busy looking fish, sharks,killer whales, eels, jellyfish, manta rays, dolphins, various cartilaginous orboney fish, so no one can get into the Hobbit’s house. Then he shouted, “Hailour great communist party, thanks to the Valars! But I do not want to see thatagain! “


These elves squeezed the men out of theship like squeezing juice, and then nothing left. “Oh brother,why is it suchheavy. I want to see what’s in this dark room.” Galliansaid.


 



第二十三棒 @人鱼藻 



 这些就是精灵和矮人们。他们在这里围着坐下,啜饮着树汁,时不时敲击一下装有上好啤酒的酒桶,以寻找最合适的酿酒方式。然后,一个精灵说道:“来吧,我顺服的大人,这已经到第四轮了,该你加入这场令人心情愉悦的游戏了。”
一位癫狂的领主拍了拍手。他开口道:“哦,理智啊!门里的愚人是你的世界。你的心像加热过的北海道的蓝色啤酒,你的嗓音像是维拉在维林诺宣布:准备好去曼督斯一游吧!”
加里安笑了,他的声音仿佛水晶镯的丁零当啷声:“这个奇人只会说谎和胡言乱语。”
另一个精灵对着他的餐点沉思:“如果我们的国王知道他的淡黄油和烈酒付之东流了,我们前往曼督斯的路程没准会更亮堂些。”
无妨,我们已经给王上带去了无上荣耀。他如此美丽,举世无双,仅仅瞥一眼就令人昏厥——我们每个人都沉醉其中。哦,真是不可思议!人人欢迎我们的王!人人爱戴他!惊人啊!妙啊!精妙绝伦啊!
听到这些赞赏的话,高个子的骑士像个小孩似的摇摇头。这是英雄主义和艰苦努力的结果。
比尔博抗议:“天哪!为什么他们都蠢得跟一堆蘑菇似的!”
接着,整个世界黯淡下来,仿佛太阳女神阿瑞恩起身。“真没法相信我看见了什么。精灵把腌肉往河里丢。跟着他们的那些疯子、恶棍,即使在他们决定跨越群山里的那个小湖之后仍在颤抖。”
精灵们正忙着寻找鱼、鲨鱼、杀人鲸、鳝鱼、水母、蝠鲼、海豚、各式各样的地图或是篝火,所以没人能进入哈比人的小屋。“感谢维拉!”他大喊,“我可不想再看到那东西了!”
这些精灵像榨果汁一样地,把这些人类从船里挤出来,什么也没剩下。“哦,我的兄弟,为什么它如此沉重……我想知道在这黑暗的空间里到底有些什么。”加里安说。